


De Domo Patris

by Megpryor



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-02
Updated: 2021-01-02
Packaged: 2021-03-12 14:54:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,198
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28512234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Megpryor/pseuds/Megpryor
Summary: Jed confronts his death as de domo patris, the father of the family.
Comments: 3
Kudos: 7





	De Domo Patris

**De Domo Patris**

Three generations sat on a porch of a farmhouse in New Hampshire. It was early autumn and colors surrounding the property were stunning. Green leaves transformed into an array of fall colors that devastated the eye with glory. The scent of the change in seasons filled the air with aromas of home. Warm days grew into crisp afternoons and then into cool nights demanding the lighting of a fire-pit to toast marshmallows. 

Three generations sat there after a lunch of homemade tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwiches. The youngest toddled around curious about everything. He peeked under a basket, unfolded a blanket and twirled it around like a matador, giggling the entire time. 

The boy’s father watched his son with more love than he ever thought he could own let alone give away. His life was inside this child. So was the life of the man he sat with, his father-in-law. Three generations on a beautiful New Hampshire October day. Three generations of Bartlets – former President Jed Bartlet, son-in-law Charlie Bartlet-Young and son Josiah Edward, named after Grandpa. 

Three cups of cocoa sat on the small table in front of the Adirondack chair the elder sat in. He reached for his cup. “He’s a great kid, Charlie.” 

That was a simple statement of fact. “I never imagined how great it is to be a parent.” 

“Wait until Zoey has the new baby. Two doesn’t double the trouble. Two kids multiplies the joy by a hundred and the grief by four or five.” 

“Grief?” 

He sipped the cocoa. “Maybe grief isn’t the right word. Worry is better but then the worry is as big as the joy.” The cup of hot cocoa shook in Jed’s hand. “Damn MS. Can’t even drink cocoa without a problem.” Charlie helped put his father-in-law’s cocoa back on the table. “Thanks. I’m getting like LJ. Can’t even hold my own cup anymore.” 

Age had taken a toll on Jed Bartlet. His battle with multiple sclerosis was valiant but one he was losing faster as time passed by. Charlie loved this man and watched his health fade. Painful as it was, he had to be there for him. Since he married the President’s daughter, he maintained a relationship that began years earlier when employed as a personal aide to the President. 

Grandpa saw LJ getting too close to danger. “Hey, kid. Stay away from the fire-pit.” 

“It’s not on fire, Grandpa.” 

“I don’t care. Always be careful around the fire-pit.” 

The little boy bounced over to the table holding cocoa. “Daddy, I want cocoa.” He crawled onto Grandpa’s lap and planted a big kiss on his cheek. “I love you.” 

He heart couldn’t fly any higher. “I love you, too, LJ.” 

The little boy wanted the story. “Tell me again why my name is LJ.” 

It had been repeated so often that it was just a story the boy liked to hear over and over. “I think you can tell me that story.” He gave the child a tickle. “Why don’t you tell it to me.” 

“My name is Josiah Edward Bartlet-Young.” 

His father’s pride was showing. “Bartlet-Young, that’s right.” 

“Daddy, let me finish!” 

Grandpa laughed. “Oh, he’s more like me than you want him to be.” 

“Grandpa’s name is Josiah Edward Bartlet. So, he’s Big Josiah, BJ. I’m Little Josiah, LJ!” 

The baby started to stand up on Grandpa’s knees and Charlie saw the cringe of pain. “LJ, come to Daddy.” The boy jumped down and Grandpa whispered a thank you. 

LJ crawled up on his father’s lap. “Cocoa, Daddy.” He sipped from the cup his father held and when done made his wants known. “Mama’s with the horsies. Can I go see the horsies?” 

Charlie deposited LJ on the porch and told him. “I’ll watch you go to the barn. Right to the barn now. No detours, okay?” 

“No detour.” LJ ran off toward his mother. 

Charlie watched him carefully. “You’re a good father to that boy. I’m proud of you.” 

He’d heard those words from this man before but each time he did, his pride blossomed. “Thanks. I learned from you.” 

That’s not why he said what he did. “I don’t need any compliments. I’m done being a parent.” 

“Not true. Zoey is still your baby.” 

“She’s yours now.” 

Charlie liked compromise. “She’s ours. How about we go that way?” 

Jed swallowed a deep-seated pain. “They lied when they said MS doesn’t hurt. It does, a lot.” 

It was time to ask and Charlie didn’t want to ask. “How are you doing, Dad? We’re worried about you.” 

“Nothing to worry about. I’m hoping to see that second baby of yours but I can’t promise you that. Things are going downhill and speeding up. I can barely stay up and out of bed for more than a few hours. Fatigue is an awful word. It’s not like being sleepy. It’s different. I’m not necessarily needing sleep but my body is unable to function. It’s muscle tired. They don’t want to work.” All those words took it out of him. “I get tired just by talking and, for me, that’s a true handicap.” 

The attempt at humor was expected. “Dad, do you need to get in bed?” 

He smiled, “I love your calling me Dad. You’ve been my son since the day I met you. Being a legal member of the family is just icing on the cake for me.” 

“A cliché from you?” 

“That’s the best I got right now.” His eyes blinked closed a few times. “I might be ready to crawl into bed now. If I wait any longer, I won’t be able to help get myself dressed for it. It’s an embarrassment that I’ve devolved like this but I got to admit to my limitations.” 

“It’s okay. So you need a little bit more help now.” 

“A little? Ordinarily I’m in bed by now.” The admission hurt. “I’m getting worse, Charlie. I can feel it from day to day.” Charlie’s hand reached out for Jed’s. “I wake up in the morning and usually I’m surprised that I actually did wake up.” 

Charlie reached out with his other hand. “Please, hang in. I don’t want to live my life without you.” 

He laughed. “Don’t do that to yourself. You’re on the road to a long successful life as a husband and father, an attorney, the future mayor of Washington DC and then President. It was some design of God’s to bring you to me and I’m grateful for that. He wanted you to be my son and He did it the best way possible.” 

Tears were in the young man’s eyes. “You saved my life. You saved Deanna. She’s going to be a doctor and that was no way possible until you entered our lives.” 

“You’re giving me credit for too much. Your mother is the hero here. I wish I would have had the opportunity to know her, to thank her.” 

“She would have loved you.” 

A sharp pain doubled the President over. Charlie yelled out, “Mom! Mom!” 

Abbey and Ellie charged in from the kitchen. “What’s wrong?” She went to Jed’s side immediately. “Honey?” His eyes were closed and he had trouble catching his breath. “Jed, talk to me.” His body shook and gradually it lessened but it took his energy with it. Abbey turned to Ellie and non-verbally told her to get back into the house. “Ellie is getting your painkiller. She’ll be right back.” Gently, Abbey straightened out Jed’s body, putting him back in a sitting position. “You’ll be okay. You’re home and we’ll get you in bed.” He nodded with his eyes still closed. “Try opening your eyes, Jed.” 

He forced them open and whispered, “Can’t see.” 

Abbey looked at Charlie. “Don’t worry. It happens all the time now.” 

The disintegration of this man whom he loved hurt Charlie to the bone. He’d known Mr. President for over a decade and a half now and knew that MS would eventually ravage his body but seeing it closing in on him hurt beyond what he anticipated. He watched as Zoey and LJ walked back toward the house from the barn. LJ was bouncing more than walking. Charlie caught Zoey’s eye and shook his head slightly, a warning to keep LJ away but the admonition was too late. LJ broke from his mother’s hand and ran back to see what all the fuss was about. 

Zoey could see that her father was in trouble and tried calling, “LJ, come back here.” Grandpa was too much a draw and he kept going. A pregnant Zoey wasn’t able to keep up with LJ’s speed and determination. She tried to warn her husband, “Charlie!” 

He stood up to intercept his son, “Come here, LJ. Grandpa BJ needs Grandma right now.” The boy ended up in his arms and suddenly buried his head in his father’s shoulder. “It’s okay. Grandpa isn’t feeling good.” 

Zoey made it to the porch as Ellie returned with a syringe filled with pain killer. She didn’t say anything. She watched and wasn’t surprised. Her father was slipping away in a pain-filled and disconcerting way. She didn’t want to cry in front of her son but a few tears fell despite her feeble, brave attempt. LJ saw the tears and didn’t know what to do. He wanted Grandpa but Grandma was about to give him a shot. Turning to his father, he asked, “Why is BJ getting a shot?” 

“It’s going to make him feel better.” 

LJ crawled out of his father’s grasp and went to his Grandpa. Leaning over, he planted a big kiss on his cheek. “Are you all better now?” 

Zoey pulled her baby away. “I bet that helped a lot but Grandpa BJ has to go to bed now. He’s tired.” 

LJ did another escape trick. “I’ll go get Mr. Dave.” He ran off toward the small building that housed the secret service agents still guarding the former President. Jed didn’t want them any longer but Abbey convinced him that too many people had found their way onto the farm without permission. Over the past years since he returned home, three of those people were caught with weapons and the intent to use them on the man. 

Abbey concentrated on Jed. “We’re going to get you in the house. Dave will get your chair and then into bed.” 

In a few seconds, Jed was placed into his wheelchair and Dave Martingale took charge. He was expert at maneuvering the vehicle and got his President inside and then into the study that a long time ago was converted into a first floor bedroom. Upstairs was impossible for him at this point. Zoey took LJ with her and made their way into the living room. “Let’s go watch ‘How to Train Your Dragon’ again, okay?” They went in a different direction. 

Abbey was used to helping Jed get to bed. Usually he had some control and could help. This time, he was a limp body and she needed an additional person. She chose Charlie. Everyone else left. “I hope you don’t mind but you used to help him in the White House. You’re used to this kind of thing.” 

“It’s my honor.” He began to remove Jed’s slippers and socks. “There were a few times in the White House when he was in the middle of an episode and I was able to help.” 

Abbey grabbed pajamas from a bureau brought into the study to house his clothing. Charlie took off the sweatshirt his father-in-law was wearing and then the tee-shirt. Jed only wore sweat pants now. They were easy to get on and off. When down to the President’s shorts, Charlie saw how much weight had been lost. Ribs were prominent. Emaciation was obvious. Abbey noticed Charlie noticing. 

“He can’t eat. I try with high calorie protein shakes but he isn’t hungry. He’s 126 pounds now. For a short guy, he is big-boned. You can see it in his shoulders. He should weigh at least 15 pounds more. That’s what he weighed when we were married. No doubt he needed to lose a few pounds when we left DC but this is too much. He’s practically skeletal.” 

Throughout all the manipulation, Jed remained asleep. At least Abbey and Charlie thought he was. While unable to participate in the conversation, he heard it all. Usually proud of his body and never ashamed of it, it hurt to hear he was getting “skeletal.” He still dismissed the idea of assisted suicide but wondered what God wanted from him. It was time to go and let these people who loved him get some rest. 

He feigned being unaware as he was tenderly dressed in bed clothing and left alone with the curtains drawn and the lights out. It was time. He really wanted to die. There were things he would miss but he would be missing them anyhow. He couldn’t even visit with his children any more without doubling over in pain. In silence, he asked God, “Please take me. I only cause sadness here and it isn’t fair to my family. Please take me.” 

Without making the sound a mouse might make, LJ sneaked into his room and climbed into bed with BJ. The boy didn’t try to wake him. He just curled into his side and lay down with the Grandpa he loved so much. 

***** 

By December, Jed was no longer able to leave his bed. He dropped more weight and on a good day weighed 120 pounds. Abbey used to kid him that he weighed less than she did and that it made her mad. It was just a jest. She would rather be nagging him about cutting down that trying to force high calorie foods into him. 

Abbey sat next to him and read from the New American Bible. “Now that I am old and gray, do not forsake me, God, that I might proclaim Your might to all generations yet to come, Your power and justice, God, to the highest heaven. You have done great things, O God who is your equal?” 

Jed was completely taken by Psalm 71. It was the Psalm he asked Abbey to read often. It was bittersweet as it was the words of someone preparing for death. “Whatever bitter afflictions you sent me, you would turn and revive me. From the watery depths of the earth once more raise me up.” 

Tears were in Jed’s eyes which no longer could see clearly. Christmas would be here in two weeks and de domo patris hoped he would have a final holiday filled with the ceremonies and traditions he loved. Abbey asked him, “Should I stop reading?” 

A ghost of the Bartlet voice whispered, “No. Finish it, please. If you don’t mind.” 

“Restore my honor, turn and comfort me, that I may praise you with the lyre for your faithfulness, my God, and sing to you with the harp, O Holy One of Israel.” She saw him smile. It spurred her on. “My lips will shout for joy as I sing your praise; my soul, too, which you have redeemed. Yes, my tongue shall recount your justice day by day. For those who sought my ruin have been shamed and disgraced.” 

He wanted some water and Abbey brought the cup and straw to him. Sipping a little, he commented. “The Psalm sort of goes south there at the end. It’s uplifting until it praises shaming and disgracing others. I wish that wasn’t a part of it.” 

“Well, those who tried to bring you down have all been forgotten now.” 

“Open the curtains, please. I want to see, to feel the sun.” 

She moved to the window. Crisp white snow covered the rolling pastures. On this sunny day, Zoey and Charlie were bringing LJ and his baby sister for a visit. Claire Abigail Bartlet-Young was born on Thanksgiving Day bringing a special reason for their gratitude. Healthy and strong, she was coming to meet her Grandpa. 

While they waited, Abbey sat on the edge of the bed. “You look pretty tired, Babe.” 

“I want to live through Christmas. I can die after that. Maybe get in New Year’s Eve just so I can kiss you at midnight.” 

She pulled herself onto the bed next to him. “I hate the idea that this is our last holiday together. I don’t want to be alone. What will I do?” 

“Sing me that song.” He started in with all the strength he had, still it was barely audible. “What’ll I do when you are far away and I am blue, what’ll I do?” 

She joined in so he could not waste his breath on singing. The words were lovely but took on a sadness for her that they never had before. “What’ll I do with just a photograph to tell my troubles to? When I’m alone with only dreams of you, what’ll I do?” 

“I know what you’ll do. You’ll learn to love someone new and make a good life with him and our children.” 

“Don’t say that. I could never love anyone after loving you.” 

“Your soul is simply made of love. It’s important for you, as important as breathing. Be careful, though. There will be men out there who just will want bragging rights.” 

“I never will love anyone like I love you.” 

“I don’t want you to be alone.” 

“Stop it. You going to plan my second wedding?” 

“No, but I’ll be there.” 

The talk of her life after his death wasn’t welcome. “Just hold me, Jed. I need you to hold me.” 

“It’s nice when we both need the same thing.” 

***** 

Christmas morning arrived with all the fanfare it deserved. Each daughter arrived with each husband, even Liz’s brand new second husband Jarrod Morganstern. The grandkids played with new toys and books and Zoey sat with Claire and, as young as she was, she was reading **The Ballad of Squirrel Nutkin** from the complete set of Beatrix Potter books that Ellie and Vic gave her. 

The holiday moved into Jed’s bedroom so he could join the fun. They ate their miraculous Christmas Day gorge of a meal off of tray tables. The Vivaldi Gloria rang through the room. It was a favorite recording of Jed’s and anything he wanted is what they did. Charlie stayed at his side. “This is a great party, Dad. Everyone is laughing and singing.” 

Jed put his hand on Charlie’s arm. “I’m getting my prayer fulfilled. God is giving me this day. I wanted to be around to watch everyone. I wanted them here for me. Is that selfish?” 

“If it is, then I’m selfish, too. So is Zoey, LJ and every person in this room. We got our Christmas wish.” 

They sat watching until Jed’s hand went limp. Charlie’s heart skipped a beat. Maybe he was asleep. He calmly took hold of Jed’s wrist hoping to feel a heartbeat. Finding no pulse was too quiet but too many people in the room. The children needed to get out of the room. Signaling to Abbey, he called her to his side. 

“I’m glad he’s sleeping.” 

Not wanting to alarm the others, he turned her so their backs were to the room. He murmured, “Mom, I don’t think he’s sleeping. I couldn’t find a pulse.” 

“No!” Her shouts drew attention. So did her actions. Her doctor’s finger wanted to find the pulse in his carotid artery. It didn’t. The room started moving toward the bed. Nothing indicated he was alive. His chest didn’t move up and down. His eyes were barely open and they wouldn’t blink. His head lolled to the side when she pulled up on his shoulders to embrace him. 

Liz and Ellie started gathering the children and leading them out of the room where their Grandpa BJ had just died. Zoey remained in her seat as she breastfed Claire. She didn’t want to leave anyhow. “Mom? Is Daddy okay?” 

Abbey was unable to answer. Charlie announced. “I’m going to get LJ. Both of us are in here.” He walked out. 

Abbey’s arms held Jed tightly as if she might change the inevitable that had just occurred. 

Zoey took Claire to her father’s bedside. “Mom? Daddy’s dead? Is he really dead?” 

Loosening her grip, Abbey laid Jed back on the pillows. “He’s gone now.” She had to admit, “He knows how to make an exit. Christmas Day.” Tears ran down her face without a sound accompanying them. “I wasn’t with him. I promised I’d be at his side and I broke my promise.” 

“We were all here. He was watching us celebrate the holiday and that’s what he wanted so much.” Her own tears began to run from her eyes. One fell onto Claire and Zoey wiped it from her chubby little arm. “She’s never going to know him.” 

“We’ll make sure she does.” 

His hair, while now a beautiful silver, still fell over his forehead. The habit of pushing it back hadn’t had time to die yet. Her fingers brushed it back. She began to sing, “What’ll I do when you are far away and I am blue, what’ll I do?” 

Charlie had LJ sitting on his hip when he reentered the room. The boy could see the pain in everyone’s eyes and his own heart broke but he didn’t know why. He saw BJ, his Grandpa, lying there so quiet. He fussed himself out of Charlie’s grasp and jumped onto the bed. “Grandpa?” He shook Jed’s shoulders. “Come on, Grandpa.” 

Abbey burst into a crying sob. Charlie took LJ off the bed. “Grandpa BJ is with God, now.” 

“He’s not going to wake up?” 

Holding onto his son as tightly as he could, Charlie had to tell him, “Grandpa isn’t going to wake up. He’s with God.” 

Adamantly, LJ demanded, “Tell God to send him back.” 

Zoey intervened, “It doesn’t work that way, sweetie.” 

“Why?” 

Charlie caught Zoey’s eye. “It’s just the way it is.” 

Abbey suggested, “Maybe he doesn’t need to be here.” 

LJ fussed his way out of Charlie’s arms again. “No! I want Grandpa.” He scrambled back onto the bed with Jed and crawled under his arm. His tears ran freely and his heart shredded into so many parts. “Grandpa BJ, come back. God doesn’t need you. I want to play with you. Read me a story.” 

By now, all in the room were crying. LJ pulled up on Jed’s eyelid and nothing stared back at him. “Daddy? Why won’t Grandpa BJ look at me?” 

Charlie again grabbed his son. “He can’t now. Like I said, he’s with God.” 

“I hate God!” 

Trying to explain death to a little boy was a thankless task. Charlie opted just to remove LJ from the scene. “The others want to come in. I’ll keep the children outside but the adults want to say good-bye.” 

“I’d like everyone to leave me alone with him for a bit. Please, I want to be with him.” 

The room was emptied and Abbey climbed onto the bed and embraced her husband. “Jed, I need more time. You were trying to tell me you were leaving soon but I didn’t want to know it. Now, you go and leave me and I’m not with you when you breathe your last breath. That’s not fair. How dare you do that to me?” She curled tighter into his body. “Now all the folderol begins. You’ll lay in state in the Capitol Building. Mourners will march past your casket for hours and it won’t change a thing. In the end, you’ll still be dead and my life will be over.” She kissed his face. “I love you, Josiah. All the clichés about completing me, being my other half, being my soul, all that crap is true.” 

Her tears turned to sobs and the shirt of his Christmas pajamas became dampened by her crying. “Don’t leave me, please, don’t leave me.” 

Jed always believed in the afterlife and it was a place of peace, wellness and happiness. His spirit would always be with her, in her and help guide her. That spirit stood over the scene of his death and his heart wanted to cry with her. “I had to Abbey. I was done but you’re not. It’s good over here. I’ll wait for you but don’t hurry. The grandbabies need you.” He laughed. "Wait until you see what’s going to be the future for LJ. You’d be amazed.” The thought made him smile. “Keep calling him LJ, Little Josiah. It will come up in the future.” Leaning over her form as she lay next to his lifeless body, he kissed her forehead. Her hand went to the spot. “That’s right, Sweet Knees, that’s me kissing you. I will love you forever. God told me so.” As his spirit faded from the bedroom, he told her, “You’ll be with me again. I promise.” 

She sat up and moved Jed’s body so it lay straight in the bed. “I’ll be with you again. I promise.” A gentle kiss was placed on his forehead just like the one she’d imagined.

**Author's Note:**

> I needed to write this and I don't know why. I think I needed a good cry and a party with sentimental. It was completed in just one long day yesterday and edited today. I had to write something because I was getting into the habit of not writing. Now back to things unfinished!
> 
> What'll I Do - Irving Berlin


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